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I don’t have much to say about The Happening except that it was really, really bad. Mark Whalberg’s constant look of disbelief was maddening. Zoey Deschanel was as horrid as always. The premise was cool but it totally tanked from there. I wasn’t expecting much but this is ridiuclous!

It felt like I was watching a soap opera; both the dialogue and its delivery were so forced. Deschanel is really, really bad – how does she keep getting parts? And there’s this one guy, a botanist or something, who looked weird and said really odd things, at the worst possible times, but nobody seemed to notice. Anyway, I can go on forever about how bad this movie is, so I’d better stop now.

You can clearly see in the picture above that Zoey and Mark are bad and annoying.

Interestingly, after receiving unanimously negative advance screening reviews, Shyamalan decided to call this film “the best B movie ever” or something like that. Come on, man! You made a crappy movie – it’s okay. Just promise to do better next time, okay?

The Happening: written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan.

Here’s a track from UNKLE’s upcoming album, End Titles…Stories for Film. It’s a re-working of instrumental track “Chemistry” from their previous album, and now features Josh Homme of Queens Of The Stone Age on vocals.

Thanks to Pitchfork for the embed.